I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
