Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
