so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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