im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
