Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
