so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
