i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
