It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
