I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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