We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
