thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
