I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize