her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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