I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
