I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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