I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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