So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I am one with the molecules
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
