Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
