I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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