So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
