their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
