He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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