Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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