Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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