I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
