bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
