Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
