When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
