Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
