Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...

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(604): View more from British Columbia

there's paper in my vomit.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i just stepped in cum. i hate you.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Thats what happens when you don't swallow.

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(714): View more from California

so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)

(1-714): View more from California

i'm so jealous of you right now.

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(807): View more from Ontario

I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.

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(480): View more from Arizona

oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund

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(217): View more from Illinois

Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?

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