Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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