and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
