doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
