Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize