Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize