I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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