Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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