Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
