drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
