i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
