it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
