Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
