When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
