Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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