I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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