so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
