He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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