it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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