Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize