Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
