RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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