Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
