he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
