There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
my poor anus
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
