Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
