tell your sister to shave her snatch
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
