this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize