How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
