oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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