He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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