You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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