this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
