i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
