ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
