So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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