Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
