WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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