forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
