It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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