At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
