I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
