If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
