i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
