okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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